Corrupt Wishes

[Merely]

Granted, now you're trapped in a pitch black hole in Anor Londo. I wish I was batman.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you are mentally ill and crazy and want to kill yourself.

I wish Merely had an avatar at least.

[Merely]

Granted, but Steveni banned me for attempting to change my avatar. I wish that I had infinite wishes

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you can only wish for infinite amount of poop into your room.

I wish I could heal people.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but they must be people you actively dislike.

I wish I were big enough to be part of the Derp Crew.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you are a vegetable now.

I wish the next corruption happened to Trump instead.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you drop out of the race.

I wish I could teleport anywhere I wanted to.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you can only do it in your dreams, not IRL.

I wish those friggin' fogs didn't come.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but they fog your memory.

I wish I would stop making awful puns.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but now you're making buns for the rest of your life.

I wish L1N3R1D3R is a father so he has a reason to do dad jokes.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you're the mother.

I wish society would be more accepting of minorities.

[NathanBros]

Granted, they are accepted as slaves (wait...).

I wish religions could be more rational.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but then holocaust is an everyday routine.

I wish I'm the smartest man alive.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you always make puns and everyone is annoyed at you for that.

I wish I could keep the Gold Activity Award I got once.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but your account gets banned right after you got it permanently.

I wish I can control time.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you couldn't control it enough to see that you've already wished for this several times.

I wish I could hire someone to write my essays.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but his writing is crap and he is only there to steal your money.

WDYDW I wish for an immortal monster under my service. DYA that?

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Sure, as long as he doesn't attack me.

WDYDW Adele is touring?

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but then you realize that you are on the wrong forum game and die a horrible, slow and painful death.

I wish for an applause.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but it happens because Trump just got elected.

I wish Nemo hadn't confused my distracted mind by posting the wrong stuff in his post beforehand.