Corrupt Wishes

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but LittlebigPlanet central gets plastered with arguments about which is better...




I wish people aren't so obsessed with boxes that play video games.

[gurren009]

Granted, but now people are obsessed with train stations that play videogames and local switches where you can play Mario or Zelda.

I wish I knew everything in the world!

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you know that Microsoft will take over the entire gaming industry.

I wish gurren noticed that the Switch is on par with the PS4 and Xbox One.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but now he only cares about the consoles, not the games.




I wish I was a sentient, wooden chair.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you don't like people sitting on you.

I wish stores weren't still out of stock on Switch stuff almost three months after its release.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but now only second-hand switch "stuff2 is available to purchase. It's also really dirty.




I wish video game consoles were cheaper.

[gurren009]

Granted, but now the graphics have been scaled down to N64 level polygons.


I wish Sir monacle didn't live on Mars.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, now he gives in your house.

I wish Sir monacle would be banished to another dimension.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but I am now the ruler of that dimension, and I have created a way to post things to other dimensional versions of Littlebigplanet central. Spooky.



I wish I could take people into my dimension.


I also wish I didn't have to change my location.

I prefer the simplicity of mars. Ah, well...

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but those people must consent with you, and nobody would dare consent.

I wish Nintendo of Japan and Nintendo of America would cooperate with each other more.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but it leads to world domination.




I wish I was out of this dimension. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit!

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but now you're forced to live with gurren009.

I wish my sickness would go away, it's my birthday!

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but your birthday was yesterday!




I wish L1N3R1D3R had the same time zone as me.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but now we are the same person.

I wish everyone in the world had the same time zone but just adjusted their schedules to compensate.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but they didn't adjust them properly, and because of this, they were all late, which, in return, caused world war 3 to start, and a giant nuclear bomb went off in all western countries. However, they discovered my family on mars and decided it would be a good idea to nuke them too, why not? The war continued raging on until nothing was left of your world, but dust and destroyed buildings. Oh, and a couple of mutant stragglers too, whom went on to live and breed in harmony.

Do you see how one small inconvenience can cause something bigger, like war? Do you understand how a tragedy can cause something good?

Do you? DO YOU? DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU!? REALLY!? IS THAT SO!?

Yeah, well... Alright then.


I wish I didn't wake up 5:00 AM in the morning to write this. It hurts.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but now you woke up way past your alarm to do it.

I wish more people would notice how great of a YouTuber DatPags is.

[Sir monacle]

granted, but, eww. I'm not touching that.


How to create an easy YouTube audience:

1 - Be LOL RANDOM TESTICLE FUNNY XD LETZPLAY HAH AHHA.

2 - Make all of your videos longer than 10 minutes. This won't help, it will just get your more money.

3 - Make OC's and do most of the things your audience asks.

4 - Put a tick, or an Emoji in the title. Oh, and make sure it contains something about sex. People love that.

5 - If you're hot, just make vlogs. If you're not hot, just be as sporadic as possible when talking. You don't want to lose their attention, right?

6 - Don't put too much effort into your videos! Just make sure they're longer than 10 minutes, and that you can upload tons weekly/daily.

7 - Make parodies - Easy, just replace the odd word, and pay some bum to animate it for you. (Minecraft parodies makes more money!)

8 - Make sure to scream a lot while doing let's plays. You can do this, right?

9 - Get rid of you soul. You won't need it where you're going.

10 - Try to show-off as much as possible without it being obvious. Or make it really obvious.

Enjoy your money and manipulative YouTube audience!




I wish L1N3R1D3R actually read all of that, and took the time for it to sink in.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but now YouTube doesn't exist.

I wish my cat wasn't about to die.

[gurren009]

Granted, but now it will outlive you

I wish phones weren't so expensive.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you're now trying to buy a house instead.

I wish Nintendo Switch stuff wasn't still so rare.