Skunk Bunny Adventures: Swifown Chronicles (long, single player, english+german)

[ForcesWerwolf•]

ok edited the text (in the thread) did i missed anything from your text?

[ll_ye]

No that seems right. Thanks for considering my edits.

[ForcesWerwolf•]

are you sure it's called "HUGE SPACESHIP"?

[ll_ye]

Yeah, it's called that in the English version.

[ForcesWerwolf•]

ok republished al levels with the english fix! if you still see errors plz fel free to report them of course thank you! you help me so much guys! *smiles*


why does "happened" get cencored?!

EDIT:
replaced it with : it
also now there is a hint arrow on the spaceship when you forget to speak with clive first
cause there are still people who dont know that oyu can jump down from things.

[anoken]

Wow those pics look promising. Queued! I'll be back with a full review.

[FriedGoat]

This is from your new text.
I've Marked the lines that need altering with a +++++ and the word on that line in brackets


LEVEL 1/5:


Skunk Bunny Adventures: Swifown chronicles (SINGLE PLAYER only!)

+++++ENGLISH and GERMAN: A distress call reaches the crew of the Huge Spaceship. The Skunk Bunny Planet need(needs) help!
+++++ A giant fox called Swifown is attacking them! Rescue their world from a(the) evil creature!
Play through 4 sub-levels and show what you can do! [4-sub levels / Vore content (Inside of a body) /
LBP-story / SINGLE PLAYER ONLY! (Multiplayer option hopefully added soon) ]
VERSION: X - Please report bugs! I'll do updates Thank you! HAVE FUN! And tnx for all feedback!


Notes:
If you want to get a high score you should pick "play normal" and don't skip any levels.

+++++Credits: At( <- delete) first I want to thank Media Molecule for the new powerfull tools of(in) Little Big Planet 2.
+++++Also a big hug for everybudy(everybody) who's playing my level! ~ ForcesWerwolf

Multi player:
++++ On(in) my own opinion i think you should play this as a "single player" level.
Of course I'll try to create and edit my level to make it enjoyable for "multi player" too.
However it was designed as a single player level first.
If you notice any bugs feel free to report them. Especially multi player bugs. Thank you.


1:

OH! Welcome back Sack Thing!
++++Let's do(have) a break from "story mode"! I got some interesting planets in my(<-delete) mind where we could go to relax a bit!
What's wrong Higginbotham?

++++We (+have) just received a distress call.
It's from the planet of the skunk bunnies. They need help...

OH... we MUST help!
Sackboy! We're going to help them! Right?

++++If you +(would) like to help them you must go downstairs to the teleporter room. Clive will help you to arrive safely.
Higginbotham open the pipe!

Already done. Easy as pie.

O.K. Sack Thing, good luck!


2:

Hello, Sackboy. Yes, Da Vinci told me about it.
If you would like to use the teleporter you just need to go to the other room on the other side and set it online.
I'll do the rest!
To do that, you only need to set all 3 buttons to green. Simply by touching them.
I'll remove the security shield around them.
Well, well... everything set! Good luck.

3:

Thank you for coming!
Welcome to the world of the fire skunk bunnies!
Wohooo... Fire Magic!
+++++Enogh (Enough) show for now... Sackboy please follow us!
We'll be waiting for you upstairs in our house!

4:

Again thank you for coming.
The reason for our cry for help is the following:

On a beautiful day...
... he suddenly appeared ...
...and he's destroying our temples!
Even sometimes...
...on his silent paws... he sneaks in front of us...
...and...
++++...and spits FOR(at?) US deadly water!

His name is Swifown the Giant Ice Fox...
We need someone to get rid of him!
He was attacking us when we sent the signal to your ship.
++++++He's not here anymore, but if you go further in(into) our city you'll see the latest destruction...

Please do something against him Sackboy!!!



LEVEL 2/5


1:

Leave me here! I'm badly hurt! Haha :P
Is he gone?
Hmph...
Why are you looking at me this way?
Yes you're right I'm not hurt. I'm hiding!
Shht! Go away! Please!
z Z Z ... z Z Z ...

++++++Since our house got half destroyed my dad is doin' weird jokes and is hiding under rocks... (i loved this bit by the way haha)

2:

HI!
Hi, you there!
My name is Skuii. The elder sent me to show you around!
At least what I'm able to show ya... Ah, do you like fire?
Because... fire is our world. We are nothing without fire and our bounce pads!
+++++I know we not much (should be "I know we have not got much modern technology here, but we...
...LOVE...
...these bounce pads. Even our temples are full of 'em.
Well...
+++++Enogh(Enough) words, lets go!
Squeek! Follow me!

No no~ No need to go back!
I said we don't need to go back.
You won't listen, eh?
Fine, I wait.

3:

++++This is how(what) Swifown looks like...

Squeek! Squeek! Squeek!

Hello young hero. I am the tribal elder of the skunk bunnys.
Please speak with Skuii, he knows everything you need to know. Thank you...
As if i would know everything... meh!
Just do your job Skuii.
Fine.

4:

Wait!
And THIS, is our beloved fire temple!
The elder said I should at least show you a sample of the insides. So I'll do.
Follow me!

This is the entrance of the skunk bunnies fire temple.
It took us several years of hard work to build and design the huge insides and security to prevent from robbers and dangers.
Let's go deeper inside!

What was that?
I know this sound... this is BAD... no...



LEVEL 3/5:



1:

I'm sorry for dragging you with me. We're stuck in here...
We must find the secret backdoor of the fire temple! I know there is one! I'm sure!
++++OH! And forget the old music! Let's take(put on?) a newer one!
Yes, thats better! See you later!

2:

Oh! What is a skunk bunny fire temple without "hot glass"?
Nothing! RIGHT! :P
I always have trouble with this part!
The key is to decide when to jump and when not to...
Good luck!

3:

Your next step is the wall maze...
Which leads us to some new music!
See you!

4:

Hi again! Well done so far!
The next room will be fun!
But first a stylish jump over there!
Squeeee~
And now you!
OH! It's time to go!

5:

Oh, I'm so happy! You made it this far!
This is the backdoor of our temple!
Only one thing left...
WE MUST FIGHT!
When we get out of here, we must fight him. I can't let him hurt my friends any more!!!
Let's GO!



LEVEL 4/5:



1:

We must find him!

2:

Sackboy!
I came to help you with the power up tools! We hope it will be of use.
As well we managed to capture the fox in this arena while you was missing! The rest is up to you!
We sadly got no information how to beat him, he's wild. But I'm sure you'll find your way to victory!
Whatever you do, keep in mind he's smart. He ate 5 poor bunnies while we tried to catch him!
Good luck Sack, I need to go back to the ship now. Beam me up Clive!

Good luck my friend! I can not come with you, for us skunk bunnys his water is deadly!



LEVEL 5/5:



1:

our hero! Good job. I knew you would help us!
We'll have to rebuild my house but thats not a problem considering what you've done for us.
If you ever get in danger count on us helping you as well!

We'll never forget you! Squeek!

Hey Sackboy! Over here! This way!
EEK!

You should go after Skuii! Squeek!

2:

This is for you!
THANK YOU!
You are allways welcome on our little big planet!
Da Vinci said he needs you back in the alliance as soon as possible...
I know saying "goodbye" hurts, but it's also a "see you again"!
So... Goodbye and see you again my friend! Thank you for everyt

[ForcesWerwolf•]

hey friedgoat! thanks
i took it into my new text as edit
is it fine now? did i forgot something?

FOR US = the water is only deadly for skunk bunnys not for sackboy - thats why. not "for "as "at us".
take a newer one = i think this is ok if i take take right? sounds cute or not? or is it totally wrong?

EDIT:
everything except this two is now published updated. tnx!

[Trindall]

I wanted to get some feedback in here before too long so I'll write up my notes from my last playthrough rather than putting this out another day.

This is a great level that does have some rough parts but over all I think it is a very satisfying experience. This seemed like a well told and complete story with the Swifown and Skunk Bunnies/Player presented very skillfully as antagonist and protagonist.

The Skunk Bunnies have a personality and character and gave me a real reason to want to save them. The Swifown is a bit more distant and underused but as a boss and a bad guy it fills the role well.

It has been said before but when I started playing I first went up the tube and over to the teleporter room rather than talk to Clive. It may be good to open up this chute only after talking to him to keep the player from getting confused or backtracking. (The text does say to go talk to Clive first but still I was curious what was up there and off I went.)

I like the challenge progression of the level in general, it has a smooth increase until the temple section where it does start to get more difficult and slightly so from then on out.

Overall the level is not too difficult or though I can see the temple section causing trouble for some players as the gameplay elements change quite a bit from section to section and differ from the standard platforming that has preceded it.

I really enjoyed the different layers of interactivity that you've put into the levels with the many small hidden point givers and score bubble caches, the conversations and branching replies from some of the Skunk Bunnies and the use of different layers for alternate platforming routes.

The set design is excellent and the distinct architecture helps to define the Skunk Bunny group and what their life and interests are. There is a lot of creativity and novelty in the different sections and you have a good bit of humour thrown in to keep things light hearted and enjoyable.

Inside the Swifown I learned pretty quickly what was needed and activated all of the nodes until I got to the end and found out that I had missed one. I had to backtrack to the very beginning to get the very first one that I missed. It may help player frustration if you make it clear early on what the objective is before the player gets too far in.

The English translation was very good throughout but not perfect and the words or syntax that was off is noticeable enough that you'll get comments on it. But I see in posts above that others are already working with you on this to correct any issues that existed.

This level works very well for me, from the menu selection, sound effects, use of the story characters as well as the creation of the Skunk Bunnies. The story has a well defined beginning middle and end and the progression is entertaining to play through.

The level from start to finish is a long one and I'm not sure how a person would be able to stop after a middle stage and then be able to start from there at a later point. This could be an area to think about if it is not already something you've taken care of.

Cheers

[ForcesWerwolf•]

@trindal

to your last point: no no people can choose the level in the first menu of the first level! so that is no problem! hah

to the red glowing stuff: how do you want me to let the player know it? simply puttin a speachbubble would not help i guess - i mean... would look stupid...
only thing i could image is that you first need to activate one to enter. so you see they do something... or what would you do?

i also added a arrow when you jump (the clive thing) to the place where the price bubble is and when you was not speaking to clive a arrow is appearing showing you how to get up again.

thank you for the review - i will think about some stuff


EDIT: I WILL NOW EDIT IT
i got a good idea! i will connect the first 4 red spots to the second gate - so you see quickly that they do something and you need th em to get further in level progress! thats it

EDIT2: PUBLISHED

[Frostinski]

Very good levels, must have taken a **** long time to get it all sorted and flowing smoothly like that. Played it all the way through enjoyably, only a few areas annoyed me.

1: Turning on the teleporter. Wasn't quite sure if i was doing the right thing, bouncing on the pad to bounce into the red buttons onthe wall, turning them green, then the second pad pops out and you try again. It felt a bit awkward just bouncing against a wall to activate it but it did work.
2: The wall maze. Rather frustrating, sometimes it would take a while for the sensors to detect you jumping against something, so the way wouldn't open up. Also if you die near the end where the flaming blocks are you have to start again, which is kinda annoying.
3: The tetris bit. I found this pretty hard, there wasn't much time to react to a block falling on you, i ended up just putting the controller down and letting myself die a few times as trying to move out of the way seemed a bit futile.
4: The wolf. Very impressive boss creature, i'd love to be able to build something like that. I wasn't entirely sure what to do, ended up just swinging on its tail then got thrown up into the air. I assume that's what supposed to happen!
5: Inside the wolf. Got to the end and saw the counter and then realised i was supposed to be setting the red things green, so had to go back and look for the ones i didn't activate. Got up to 33 and couldn't find the other 2. Eventually found them but they weren't that easy to spot in the corners.

Excellent level chain nonetheless!

[ForcesWerwolf•]

+++
ADDED A VIDEO! IT'S on the first post!
tnx to http://lbp.me/u/Ylleylleylleylle !

@ frostinski
thank you for your feedback!
for the most of what you say it's way to late to change the whole level x)

things for the next update:

- make turning on the teleporter easier,
- and if that continues that people get stuck i'm going to block the way to the teleporter if you don't spoke with clive yet. made it now...
i thought it is kinda fun to figure out how to go up there again. (cause it is possible!, and even more easier to figure out with the two updates, added bounce pad AND arrow!)
- make acing the wall maze easier
- try to slow down the tetris thing, but i'm not sure if i want to do that... some people love it some hate it...
- thinking about a fix how to let people know to turn on all green lights, but is it realy so much frustrating to go 1/3 of the road back? it's not far. it's designed to go back. - edit: done
if you found all you DON'T need to go back to the end. i guess to expect to do THAT is what people make frustrating feelings in this situation... as well i edited the level today a few hours ago so the first one only opens up if you make all first 4 lights green so the player knows - they trigger something! i hope thats good?

thank you again!

[Bloo_boy]

Will get back at your level today ^^ hope the link thing doesnt happen again, it might be maybe my connection or something idk, but if I manage to play the whole story today, will be back with a full review .

[Roo5676]

I actually played this yesterday before you requested F4F. I probably can't be that detailed because I didn't write as I played like I usually do.

-- Very nice menu and level selection. Maybe I should copy that for my level Although I don't like the idea of people starting on the wrong part.

-- Cool that you offer it in both English and German -- that's the first time I've seen that. The English was OK, some spelling mistakes and a few lines that were awkward. I know you are working on this, though!

-- Nice use of the story characters. Kind of like an epilogue to LBP2.

-- I did struggle at the beginning a little because I think it mentioned to go for a green light, and there was actually a non-interactive green light next to the 3 red/green buttons. I didn't see the actual buttons at first and thought maybe there were 2 other green lights in different areas so I ran around for awhile.

-- The skunk bunnies were cute and unique. I would add some voice effects when they are talking (I think only the elder did this). I liked how the story made excuses for the presence of bounce pads and lots of fire traps in the temple, that was funny.

-- I echo some of the things Frostinski said. The maze was a bit tricky to get the proper path to open every time (I didn't die, but almost did), and sometimes the Tetris pieces came down on you too fast. Maybe just zoom the camera out a bit on the Tetris? I think that might help.

-- I did think those sections (wall maze, tetris, and inside of fox) were awesome, though. Very creative. Every time I started to get a little tired of the standard platforming sections, you'd hit me with one of those cool obstacles.

-- I'll just mention again how awesome that giant fox is. The first cutscene with just his paw crushing things was a very nice touch. Like others said, backtracking through the fox was the only part I didn't like. The counter was great, but there was no warning or explanation of what the 35 switches were or that you needed to get all of them. I would add a hint about that at the beginning, so the player at least knows about them before going through.

-- There was one part in there somewhere where you just run across totally blank ground for a long time (maybe before one of the temples?). Might want to put something in there to make it feel complete.

Nice job overall. Long adventure with good characters and a lot of variety.

[ForcesWerwolf•]

@roo5676
thanks!

the menu german and english: yeah i though why not - it was not that difficult as i thought at the beginning
staring on a wrong level: well... what if someone needs a break or need to go all of sudden? i did this option so they can start where they leaved.

characters: thank you!

green light: hm... i'll do it blue in the next update done

voice effects for the normal skunkbunnys: sadly there is not a single one voice effect what would fit to them... sorry! i can not record voices. would need help for that...

what frostinski said: well i allready did another edit on "where is fire in the maze" to see if it is now better..
tetris: zoom out a bit on the tetris part? hm nice idea - going to try that on the next update - edit: done

sections: yeah i tryed that for the same reason

backtracking: i don't know if you saw the new update (you can play it again per choosing lv4 directly) i did it so that you NEED to put on all first 4 of the first room. so the player knows, ah they are related to something. i hope that is enough?

blank: the blank part in front of the temple... yeah i thought its's kinda something like a big big holy entreance... so... i thought it should be empty but ok. i think about it what i could so with it![edit: did it!]

overall: thank you very much! you helped as well as the others

EDIT: GOT AN IDEA NOW MAYBE IT FIXES IT - ( for the hint in the insides ) edit: DONE

[ForcesWerwolf•]

i hope i can say it now:
fixed the "don't know that i need to set them green" inside the fox issue.

[Bloo_boy]

ok Manage to play everything, great series, loved the story, The design was good especially the Fire temple and inside the fox.
The Maze in the fire temple, thats crazy >_< I can imagine how long it took you for that. The design of the skunk bunnies was cool but I got confused, why was the elder yellow? >_<

but its not really a bad thing
The platforming was good, inside the fox that was amazing ^^
It was a bit tough but it didnt really affect the experience, what really got me a little frustated was that sometime when climbing the fox throat etc the grapple hook would get stuck and sometimes wouldnt move in some points.

But everything else was perfect, the lighting and the coloring, great job, the Ending i loved it, the fireworks were awesome, great job

[ForcesWerwolf•]

thank you bloo_boy
love your review!

yes... the maze is still crazy to fix if something like a bug is found... but heh was fun! was one of the first things i created for the whole level set
the elder? why yellow? well... it's color. they use red paint cause of the fire abilities they got. they are normally only black and white. so the blue one is the helper of the elder and technologic user and the yellow is the elder. thats it. simple

yes i know the grappling hook, i just don't know how to fix that... heh do you? you just need to know the item well to get used to it and know when it choose what. sooooo its kinda a little big planet issue to learn how to use it over the months/years on all levels as well storyline. i know i could try to build it further appard but... than everything would be huge spaced inside and that would hurt the feeling of being inside him. this tight feeling of wanting out there.

thank you hehe the firework yesh and i was so lucky that he on 90% of the times is moving the hands to his heart when he gets on whitescreen on the end. thats cute ^^

[PTdragon]

Omg .. lol to that screens I want play it ^^ On list when i play i will leave a review.

F4F mines if u want
http://lbp.me/v/y-74xp - http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/sho...r-1-A-New-Land.
http://lbp.me/v/ymk37m - http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/sho...Skull-Mountain.

[shouk]

I don't what to ta say D: i'm bad reviwer
A lot of thing it was said in other ppls reviewers =P
But they are right, those levels are really great levels!! I really enjoyed playing it xD.
Great story and visual + tetris lol xD
Loved the visual inside the beast xP didn't know how organic can be made in LBP2.

hmm water


Man... i don't know if one day i can make a great level like yours in LBP2 ( Sorry for my bad english )
Also a little fanart about your level xD

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a57...cesWerwolf.jpg