Fortunately and Unfortunately

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, that would just clean you.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Unfortunately, it would also infect me with Teletubby DNA.

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, it's not so bad.

[TenebrisNemo]

Unfortunately, it's quite bad tbh.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Fortunately, I get the story moving by getting surgery to remove the new DNA.

[Sir monacle]

Unfortunately, it creates some kind of monster.

[TenebrisNemo]

Fortunately, we have monster hunters!

[Sir monacle]

Unfortunately, they're really bad at their job.

[TenebrisNemo]

Fortunately, that monster is bad in its job as well.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Unfortunately, it infects a person and makes them a more potent monster.

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, they're friendly monsters.

[TenebrisNemo]

Unfortunately, they are friendly only to your corpse.

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, I don't need their friendship! I have my ship to use.

[TenebrisNemo]

Unfortunately, it's a toy ship which won't save you from them.

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, it's still pretty entertaining to look at.

[TenebrisNemo]

Unfortunately, the monsters won't let you look at it for long.

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, I have the television set to look at.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Unfortunately, the television set is old and doesn't register the radio signals in the air.

[Sir monacle]

Fortunately, it has Teletubbies on right now!

[TenebrisNemo]

Unfortunately, the teletubbies are a creepy fan creepypasta version.