Let's Kill xtremesackboy in Extremely Malevolent Ways!

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You are the Hero of Time. Unfortunately, you are in one of the universes where you die to Ganondorf.

[TenebrisNemo]

You are the side character of a horror movie. You're the first one to die.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You are my 42nd level, and I just killed you by moving to level 43.

[TenebrisNemo]

You are a table in a bunker. Then angry Hitler hits you many times while shouting "Nein!" 'till you're dead.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You emerge from war with many battle wounds. Then angry Hitler hits you nine times 'till you're dead.

[TenebrisNemo]

You are an iPhone and your owner breaks you even before I finished this sentence.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You are TenebrisNemo, and you die because you forget the whole "party" thing which makes you yourself.

[TenebrisNemo]

You are the party and you get killed when I bring in the "good stuff" and the police follows.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You are Donald Trump in the first week after being elected president. Too soon?

[TenebrisNemo]

You are the person whom I kill by stabbing with your butter knife 88 times 'till I can make some delicious toast with your blood on it, which is forked up!

Too spoon?

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I give you as much blood as I have activity.

[TenebrisNemo]

You are on top of a tower with a parachute. As you jump down, you realize that I replaced it with the bag full of crappy diapers and, not only you die, people will hate you forever for making such a crappy suicide.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I was the one who pushed you off.

[TenebrisNemo]

You survived but once you came to, you smell something crappy and die completely.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You died completely because I lit the crap on fire. Now the city smells even worse.

[TenebrisNemo]

You think you can not die as a ghost. Too bad that the smell of the diapers get into your soul (ghost) and you burn away.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Now that you are in hell, you think you can not die. Too bad you're constantly being eaten and crapped out.

[TenebrisNemo]

What's even worse, whenever someone is going to eat you, they cut you into little pieces and grill the living crap out of you.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

But the grill's bars are so sharp that you get decapitated before you are burned to death.

[TenebrisNemo]

Their dirty hands are filthy and get into your very being and you die instantly even before they put you onto the bars.