Let's Kill xtremesackboy in Extremely Malevolent Ways!

[TenebrisNemo]

I invite Obama to your birthday. Unfortunately I accidentally invited Osama from the grave and he blows up your house.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You invite Hillary Clinton to the White House. Unfortunately, the electoral college system is dumb.

[TenebrisNemo]

I invite random americans to your house. But they turn out to be native american zombies and they rip you apart.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I invite random Americans to your house. But they turn out to be radical republicans.

[TenebrisNemo]

I invite random americans to your house. But they turn out to be true patriots with guns and they shoot you up for no reason.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I invite random Americans to your house. But they turn out to be Sir monacle and I.

[TenebrisNemo]

I invite you to my house. But it turns out to be a hardcore sauna and you burn to death.

[Sir monacle]

You pick up a cool-looking rock that I wanted, so I hire the mafia to send you to your grave.

[TenebrisNemo]

I give you a cool looking pet rock. Too bad it only eats human flesh and is a friggin' alpha.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I invite Lady Gaga to your party, but you're giving me a million reasons to let you go...over a cliff.

[TenebrisNemo]

I invite a pet rock to your house. And his whole family. Upon your house. With a crash.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I calculate the mass of Jupiter to let you know just how many kilograms are about to hit your house.

[TenebrisNemo]

I transform you into an airplane. Too bad that L1N3 is the pilot.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I transform you into an airplane. Too bad that it's September 11th, 2001. (Too soon?)

[Sir monacle]

I tried thinking of a tame way to kill you, rather than my many vile ways, but as soon as I get a tame idea, you're already dead.

[TenebrisNemo]

I transform you into a cat knight. You are given a grand quest to destroy a large red dragon. Too bad that you're not one of the main characters.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

I transform you into a cat knight. Unfortunately another angry cat knight is drawn to you by a giant laser pointer.

[Sir monacle]

We were playing Russian roulette, and I won.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

You are me after missing a single day of school. D:

[TenebrisNemo]

You are L1N3R1D3R after not missing a single day of school... not even when the shootings happen.